my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
