I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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