chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
