Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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