I smell stomach acid.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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