your room smells of hookers.
And success
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
