so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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