You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
