Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
