just tell him i said nine months
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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