we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
