So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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