So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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