she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
