I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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