You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
