I must be too annoying 4 u.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
