when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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