My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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