I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
