I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
