I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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