how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
