why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
