dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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