I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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