you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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