thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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