i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
This house was built for laser tag.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
