Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize