The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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