I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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