Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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