so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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