I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
