Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
