I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
