Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
