Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
