Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
