Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
