My girlfriend figured out who you are.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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