Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
