all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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