youre lurking in front of me
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
