hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
