Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
