So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
