it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
