with your own penis?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
