I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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