the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I need water and some morals
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
