used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
