yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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