Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize