How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
