i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's shark week go big or go home
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
