i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
