I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
