My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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