what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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